Coping in Hospital with a newborn baby
Forming a routine, the early days!
Whilst you are still in hospital you will be giving your baby a feed around every three hours, night and day. Before you feed your baby you might want to change him or her (unless you find that he or she tends to poo after a feed in which case leave him or her and change him after the feed) A basic routine can be formed around your baby’s mealtimes and of course around your own mealtimes as well as visiting hours. You would be wise to sleep when your baby is asleep if at all possible. This will become the basis of your baby’s routine!
You should be shown how to bath your baby whilst you are still in hospital. If you have not and would like to know how to do this please ask your midwife for help.
Coming out of Hospital - The first few weeks after birth
Once you feel confident with your chosen feeding method and you have been pronounced fit to leave hospital (especially after having a caesarean) you will be able to come home. It is vital that you have everything set up for when you come out of hospital. If you went into hospital suddenly, try to ensure that someone has organised your home ready for your return (this could be by your partner or mum or a friend!)
When you get home try to do as little as possible in the first few days. Eat and drink plenty and get plenty of rest. Continue to feed your baby every 3 hours day and night, changing nappies when necessary. At first you may have to change nappies very frequently, but after a week or two this may tail off to around 5 times a day.
Don’t feel that you have to prepare elaborate meals for people who come to see you and your new baby, stock up on biscuits and tea bags and let them make you your cup of tea! For the family see if you can either get someone else to cook for you in the first few days after the birth or prepare very simple meals that don’t take too much preparation (if you’re at home for a while in the day time pop some jacket potatoes and a simple casserole into the oven (pop a chopped onion and chopped carrot into a casserole dish along with some cubed meat, top up with water add a sprinkling of herbs and cook for a few hours on a low heat!)
Get Dad/ Granny / grandad/ a friend to change nappies, or prepare bottles or whizz round with the vacuum. Order groceries online and do your banking online too. Ignore none essential tasks and get plenty of rest!
Establishing a Sleeping Routine
Right from day one it would be good to establish a sleeping routine and put some good sleeping habits into place. These include always putting your baby into the cot whilst still awake, not letting him or her fall asleep at the breast, and having a bed time routine right from baby being around 8 weeks old. As soon as you start putting your child into proper clothes rather than keeping him or her in his baby grow all day, you should start having a good bedtime routine so that they begin to understand that night time is different from day time. You do NOT necessarily have to give an evening bath, I found that my children ended up more wide awake after an evening bath so I tended to opt for a morning bath, do whatever suits you! Try to get them to sleep without too many extra stimuli, a quiet dark room is ideal for sleeping, you can keep the fun, bright exciting stuff for the day time!!
If you find that your child is up all night bright eyed and bushy tailed and then sleeping all day you may have to keep waking your child up in the day time in order for him or her to decide to sleep all night- there is method in this madness, you are in charge and unless you would like your baby to be up all night and asleep all day you are going to have to work at keeping baby up all day so you can all get some good quality sleep
What to do when your baby just will NOT stop crying
Why do babies cry? Normally a baby cries because he or she wants something, crying is a way of getting your attention. Babies cry because they are hungry, tired, wet, dirty, cold, hot, bored, or conversely over stimulated. Babies also cry when they want a cuddle. Babies often have a different cry for different requirements so a hungry cry may be a different pitch to one when they are feeling grumpy etc. After a while you will get to know what different cries mean. If you have twins you may find that their cries are at different pitches and when you get really clever you will be able to work out which baby is crying and what they need!
However some babies cry for hours on end and never seem to stop crying. If all else fails try winding them, wind can be a major cause of crying. Colic is often thought to be the cause of a baby continually crying, especially later on in the day, this can be helped by over the counter preparations (choose one suitable for your babies age) it can also be helped by getting a breast like teat for your babies bottle and by cutting down on wind-producing foods if breast feeding (if cauliflower gives YOU wind, it will do that for your baby too!)
Giving a baby a cuddle can sometimes calm them down, as can putting them into their buggy and taking them for a walk, a car journey could lull them to sleep nicely, or a relaxing tape of soothing music can help. If your baby has been winded, fed, walked, isn’t wet, cold, hot, hungry. thirsty, ill or anything else on the list and is driving you crazy, either put him/ her into his cot and go down stairs and make yourself a hot drink, or if you can get a neighbour or your partner or a friend to have the baby for half an hour whilst you recover. There is a helpline you can call http://www.cry-sis.org.uk/
Some Mothers (and indeed fathers) suffer from what is commonly known as Baby Blues. This can be quite mild and managable, but can be prolonged and severe. If you do not feel like your normal self after a few weeks (to allow your body time to settle back down after the birth) you feel that you cannot cope or you feel very down, lethargic, and unwilling to get out of bed on a morning (or less willing than normal if you are normally not a morning person) the please contact your GP or Midwife or Health Visitor for help. Many Many women feel like this after giving birth. There are things that can be done to help please do not suffer in silence!
Coping with a Newborn Baby and other children
A lot of websites never mention how to cope when you have other children to consider AND a newborn baby. How you will cope will probably largely depend on how old your other children are. If you have quite young children you may still have to change your older child’s nappy as well as your babies nappy. If you do not have to take your older child to play group, nursery or school this will in some ways make your days slightly easier in the fact that you do not have to get your children to a set place for a set time each morning. However if your older children are at school, nursery or playgroup you will have to work your daily tasks around pick up and drop off times for your other children. Try to plan to give your baby his or her feed before you have to go pick up or drop off your other children so that you do not have a screaming child in the playground if possible.
Don’t be afraid to wake a baby up that needs feeding if you need to be out of the door for a set time, babies are quite adaptable and will feel happier if you feed them at regular intervals! It also helps your other children if you can devote some attention to them when they come back from school or playgroup rather than having to be busy feeding the baby
Should I be Quiet Around my Baby?!
One very common misconception that parents often make is that you have to be quiet around a baby or you will wake him or her up! Babies are used to noise whilst in the womb and therefore will find it very hard if you are very quiet around the house. They like to have a bit of background noise so make sure you make a reasonable amount of noise (it is ok to put the washing machine on, play music, watch t.v. and vacuum the floor, and so on)
The only time you should be very quiet around your baby is at night time, as from an early age they need to be able to differentiate between night and day time (otherwise you will find that you are up all night and asleep all day) When you go and feed your baby at night time try hard not to put a main overhead light on (fitting a dimmer switch to the main light fitting (requires an electrician dont try doing this yourself!) can help as you can then simply put it on the lowest setting and not properly wake your baby up.
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Disclaimer: Any advice you take you do so because you believe in your own mind that it is right for you and you do so completely at your own risk. Always get immediate medical help if you have any health concerns.
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